Diwatang Byaning

It’s been a month long that I really wanted to be alone, and now it’s going to happen… I know that socializing and blogging can’t help me with what I am going through right now… It just covers up my issues and I can’t deal with that anymore (I just hate being pretentious). Ugh, me and my big mouth, baka ilabas ko lang lahat ng ka-chorva-han dine, kaya mas nanaisin ko munang magisa as in alone. Pwede na naman siguro diba?

Tapos na ang mga social-climbing.I’ll miss you all…Most specially you! (Ang aking newly found imaginary friend). May nagtatanong na kung si Malen daw ba iyon? Imaginary nga diba? SO HINDE SYA IYON.HOLD ON - WAIT A MINUTE: Sa mga asal byaning jan na mas madami pang drama sa akin - calling-calling Chuva and HRH (HisRoyalHer) Reyns magbati na kayo for WORLD PEACE mga kabisyo! Ikaw Reyns ha inisnab mo party ko ha ang taray mo para kang artista! Ang saya-saya parang may lamay! HA HA HA… Okay tapos na ang (commercial).
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Popularity: 5% [?]

I need to lose 10 lbs. or more in the next two weeks, and 30 more lbs. starting September for my wedding next year in the Philippines and in Thailand.

Baka iwanan na ako ng jowa ko, aktuali kasalanan nya itong lahat!!! Luto kasi ng luto eh, alangan naman hindi ako kumain? Alangan naman titigan ko lang yong pagkain??? [I swear ang shuba ko!] Kahapon ko lang napuna, ang laki-laki ng chan-nena ko. Manas ang feeling ko!!! Ayaw ko na… Ayaw ko ng ganito. [Ang pwetty ko parang napunta sa che-nena ko!] Hagdan-hagdan palayan kamo ang itchura… 3 weeks from now mag beach pa naman ako, ano to bonus salbabida?

Noong nakaraang Sabado, bumili ako ng damit-china, hindi ko na isinukat dahil alam ko naman ang aking sukat. May lakad ako sa susunod na biernes, sinubukan kong isukat kahapon dahil gusto kong makita ang dating nya… Nang, biglang halos maduwal-duwal ako sa itchura ko. Nandidire ako sa sarili ko sa harap ng salamin. Hindi ko ma take ang itchura ko. Nakakarimarim!

Lahat gagawin ko, kahit ano mawala lang ang sobrang taba sa katawan ko. Kung kinakailangan kong tumira sa gym at mag work-out ng 12 oras araw-araw gagawin ko! At kung kinakailangang hindi kumain gagawin ko din, kung kinakailangan din na cha-a at papakin ko ang capsula ng ballerina okay lang din na ito lang laman ng katawan ko gagawin ko. Lahat, kahit ano gagawin ko maging kasing payat lang ni bryanboy!

I am on a diet again. I will never be off from a diet! I will die alone and fat!

Last night I spent 1 1/2 hrs at the gym… Work-out kung work-out todo na ito! Kung hindi lang ako nagpuyat kagabi malamang kaninang 5am kinarir ko ulit ang pagbuat ng barbels at takbo ng 15 miles. I am back to eating fruits again… No meat except on weekends… I want results!!! And I want em’ NOW!

Do you know that the first thing you loose on a diet is brain mass? Fact or Fiction?

Popularity: 2% [?]

Like other woman I have issues too.

As y’all know am an Ethnic Lesbian, am queer and am here. [Being a Minority is one of my issues… Uhg I should have Majored in Women Studies! Instead of Marketing and Networking!!!]

One of my issues that bothers me is my weight.

I worry all the time about how I look.

I’ve been on a diet since… Forever?

People doesn’t see me as fat bitch. But whenever I looked at the mirror eww I just want to go puke. [It’s making me sick to my stomach. Uhhgg.]

There are times that I love and hate myself. [Today? Hmm I love myself. All I ate was just Apples and Metamucil. Which I will purge later!]

I Am always in-denial of hunger.

To eat is an issue to me.

I just can’t believe what’s happening to me lately. I’ve been on a diet. Been working out on a regular basis… And yet I’ve gain freakin’ 5 pounds!!! What the… I don’t know where the hell it came from.

Is it just water??? Did I gain mass??? — Now, I think am gonna die! Not just die… Am gonna die fat and alone. Waaaaaahhhhh…

Most of the people I know tell me that I ain’t fat. Maybe their just saying that… Am not gonna be convinced… I will still feel fat… No matter what…

I am 5′3 and weighs 95 lbs. [I am overweight! I am suffering from Obesity!]

Popularity: 3% [?]

It’s been almost 4 weeks now since I decided to partially gave up eating meat.[Hope for good.]

For the past four weeks all am eating is just fruits and veggies — apples, bananas, celery carrots and the like. I eat 7 times a day. But in a very small servings. I had to take a rain check for now in going to the gym. [Am still adjusting to this new kind of lifestyle I just found.]

You don’t want to know how cranky I am these past few days. Naman! My co-workers would ask me if am pms-ing or am I having my early stages of menopause because I have been such a bitch. He he he… [Gutom lang pala eh no?]

Anyways I’ve lost almost 10 lbs already! Yippie!!! Kailangan magkasya sa akin yong size0 kong maong na 2piece bathing suit noong 10 years pa nakakaraan! Charing! [Aysus specially now that I have a girlfriend already… Who weighs 94 lbs. Naku! Laban kung laban talaga. Dapat muganda din ako no! I need to be at least 93 lbs.!!! HA HA HA HA… j/k.] I still got a long way to go… I wonder how many more apples and bananans I have to eat in a BLAH! Darn it!

I dunno I always feel bloated whenever I eat anything. [My normal food.] Not just I felt am bloated… It felt like my hands and face and some parts of my body are swollen. [I think it’s called Edema. Manas in Tagalog!]

It might be from the foods that I been eating too. Like most of the resataurants that I go to maybe they put alot of MSG on their food [Filipino Restaurants?, and YEAH!… Almost most of the Chinese Restaurants they say they don’t do MSG Okay whatever! Talk to the hand!] Call me lazy but I never cook, most of the time I buy my food at the said restaurants.

Well I ate meat twice already in a span of four weeks in a very small portions. I need my protein too. Tao naman din ako. Naghahangad ng Carne! But when I saw this video… I kind changed my mind in eating meat again…

Popularity: 3% [?]