So I therefore conclude I am not a failure!!! I tried to break free with it for a week or 2 weeks but am just not at my best at that time. [long time ago.] I think I am ready now. Hahaha pinaghandaan talaga?
I know I have a demon inside me we all do mga ka-Ovarrio! (Lucky me…) compared to other people I know. Some have demon in their houses; may alam nga ako - their freaking demon knows how to criticize, cook, drink, give child support? *Baet? Hahaha, nasisiraan ng baet kamo! Syet!* laundry, dial the phone [ekkkk, marunong kaya syang mag tix?] What else? Those damuhong demonyo can do just any verb you can imagine. Pootah!
I have a long time love/hate relationship with smoking! A FA-Q and nothing but a FA-Q, is that, it’s longest relationship I ever had in my entire life. Love and hate baga? Hahahaha… Love that every smoke that comes outta my mouth. It simply satisfies my addiction to nicotine, and yet every smoke that comes out sa pugon ko gives me fear… A fear; like what’s going to happen to me if I don’t stop now…
So when is one really ready to break free from it? I am not ready and I don’t think I will ever be anytime soon… But if I don’t try now, when will I? When it’s too late? *Wala na akong baga?* Hahaha… I guess no one is a failure, unless they stop trying!
Life is precious and is worth fighting for…
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Ayan ang payo ni Fr. Sunny sa akin kanina umaga. Palibhasa daw I stop, look and smell the vulva lang daw at di ang roses lol. Madaming nangyayari sa buhay ko… Sobra dinaig pa ang mga issues ni Obama. Ano ba ‘Healthcare’ lang di pa mapagtanto? Hahaha. I have so much more to worry other than healthcare - fcuk, why worry about healthcare? You just go to the hospital and they can’t deny you their services noh. I dunno wakit nagiging issue to, when America has soooo much things to worry about!!!
Busy ako sa buhay ko. Sobrang busy - madaming ginagawa. (Di lang halata na madami akong ginagawa, dahil ako si todo pasa.) I have school, work, part time job at kung anik anik pag mga extra-curricular activities take note - activities not activity. Sa lahat ng taong magsalita sa akin - si Fr. ang pinakikingan ko, ewan ko kung bakit… Whenever I talk to him - parang okay na lahat… Parang tapos na wala na akong dapat i-worry. I dunno - maybe it’s his words of comfort? How he reminds me of the promises., Maybe. That no matter how sometimes unfaithful I am - he will be faithful, because I am his child.
I took his advice. Stop, Look and Listen - so sa kalagitnaan ng paglalakad sa highways of my life while on yosi break kanina I did it. I stop, look, listen at naupo sa isang tabi. Sa bus stop shed while others are so busy for black Friday maddness. I was sitting out there in the cold for like 20 minutes and assessing everything. I guess isasama ko na tong stop, look and listen sa aking ADL as in Activity of Daily Life… *Parang sheet ng mga residente sa nursing home bwahahaha!*
Fr. reminded me how I asked him for something and faithfully it was given to me… Because it is his will. (As I always say, hindi ako ang nasusunod sa buhay ko. Dahil kung di ukol - di bubukol. Dibanech?)
Thanks Fr. for the enlightenment this morning.
*Kumpleto na ba ang lahat? Kanina pa po nag sisimula ang ating bible study!*
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This coming Wednesday I will have my blood work done. Wala naman akong nararamdaman na kung ano, pero na-pra-praning ako heheheh dapat pala sa psychiatrist ako magpatingin noh? Bwehehe!!! Well I drink/smoke quite alot, kaya you can never can tell… Malay ko ba kung andoon pa atay ko at baga ko, I just want to double check kung normal naman ba ang aking WBC at RBC chorvaley. After nito makakahinga na akong mabuti lol - sobrang napaparanoid ako talaga.
Anyhow lugaw next Sunday I will be flying lalush to Nueva Yorka and will be there for quiet sometime 5 weeks max, hopefully! *Puts out my left foot out of my comfort zone line!* Bahala na, but one thing I know…
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Now that *Psssttt* is kind of scary! [Hindi ako aso kaya, wag mo ako sitsitan!] I wanted to alsa balutan as in iimpake ang mga maleta (2 pcs. at shempre 70lbs lang bwahahah) at ang aking foster dog na si Jake at maki sleep over kung saan man, after Demi told me na may sumisitsit sa kanya lagi while watching me habang tulog sa bahay ni Ate… [O diba, parang PBB - sa bahay ni Coya? LOLS]
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