Diwatang Byaning

Sometimes, I want to vanish into the air…

Canon EOS 300D; M mod; 1/125; f/7.1; ISO100
EF 24-85mm f/3.5-4.5 USM

Kayo naramdaman nyo na ba yong pakiramdam na katulad sa akin? Na minsan gusto ko mo na lang lumubog sa kinauupuan mo at maglaho na lamang parang bula! [I am jaded, yet hopeful.]

Pagod na pagod ako - katawan ko. Na-i-istress ako! Na pre-pressure ako! Masyadong sabay-sabay ang pagdating ng mga bagay-bagay sa aking buhay at masyado akong na-o-overwhelm sa totoo lang (hindi ako nagrereklamo!). Napapagod lamang ako (panay ako buntong hininga, na kala mo bitbit ang mun do, ambigat ng dibdib ko at likod ko). Siguro am just wear out.

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I think I finally know youI can see beyond your smileI think that I can show youThat what we have is still worth while

Don’t you know that love is like a threadThat keeps unraveling the bedIt ties us back together in the end

In your eyesI can see my dreams reflectionsIn your eyesI found the answers to my questionsIn your eyesI can see the reason why our love’s aliveIn your eyesWe’re drifting safely back to shoreAnd I think I’ve finally learned to love you more

And you warned me that life changesAnd that no one really knowsWhether time will make us strangersOr whether time will make us grow

Ohh, even though the winds of time will changeIn a world where nothing stays the sameThrough it all, our love will still remain

In your eyesI can see my dreams reflectionsIn your eyesI found the answers to my questionsIn your eyesI can see the reason why our love’s aliveIn your eyesWe’re drifting safely back to shoreAnd I think I’ve finally learned to love you more

In your eyesI can see the reason why our love’s aliveIn your eyesYou and IWe’re drifting safely back to shoreAnd I think I’ve finally learned to love you more

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continuation of part one…

I got tired of staying at home (trust me on this one, very boring!) and just partying most of my nights wasting all of my Mum’s monies, after a year I finally decided to go back to school. So I enrolled my self to study at some stupid school with some stupid medical degree. I was fun, I get to stay away from home, meet a few interesting people here and there and I meet alot of potential girlfriends too! Not to brag when I was younger alot of girls and boys would beg me to just have coffee with them! [Malamang mga walang pang kape! LOL]

Fast forward…

Yesterday while talking to Manat, Ohh you know what my friends tell me about you? That you seem nice and so good looking! Yeah you are nice I think, I dunno and very good looking, I bet when you were much younger your much more better looking compared than now! But you know what, the first time I saw you kind of you don’t look like what you look today… Your face is sorta yellow and you look kind of tired! But now your face is reddish and you looked relaxed now. [Leche! Kulang na lang isampal nya sa muka ko na kaya ako blooming eh dahil sa kanya! Actually totoo naman… Yellow ano ako may jaundice? Pero talagang haggard na haggard ako noon kasi alan nyo na alam kong mag meet kami kaya naman todo puyat at isang beses lang ang kain ko noon sa isang araw. Aba dapat maganda ako! Kaya lang haggard ang kinalabasan.]

Balik tanaw ulit…

After spending alot of time and effort at some stupid school studying some stupid medical course Finally called it quits… I snapped one day and told myself I can’t take this sh*t anymore and not happy with what I have, hindi ko kayang mabuhay ng araw-araw mga patay ang makikita ko… Hindi ko kayang mag kunwari… I know my Dad’s gonna be upset with this, I have to do what I have to do… Wala na akong pakialam lunurin man nya ako sa isang drum ng tubig. Maging serena na kung maging serena.

You see I am very Impulsive person, kung ano nasa isip ko at gusto kong gawin… Gagawin ko… Ng walang sekantots! [I sometimes think that I am suffering from a bipolar disorder and or ADHD he he he…] *Hindi kaya yan kagagawan ng mga pagkain na may formalin?*

After a month or two my ass was back again to school, now at some stupid business school with a stupid major! (Ni hindi ko alam ang debit at credit at kung paano gumamit ng ledger! Tapos eto ako ngayon business ang kinakarir?($@$^) You might want to know why did I get back to school? Nothing… AS IN NOTHING! Maybe just for the heck of it…, for me to do something and not get bored. Again I meet alot of interesting people there, not just ordinary people… People who really has some serious connections and money$ and power. [May pagka social-climber din pala ako noon?]

Ah basta hindi talaga ako interesado sa kung saan mang course! Basta ang gusto ko yong gusto ko! Nag LOA ako hanggang hindi ko na natapos ang aking pag-aaral, - iling na lang ng iling ang aking mga magulang at wala na rin silang magawa sa akin… Kaya ang nasabi na lang nila sa aking mga kapatid eh *TAKE CHARGE* ibig sabihin kayo na bahalang mambambo jan! Katako-takot na sampal at sabunot ang naabot ko sa aking nakakatandang kapatid na babae at suntok sa likod at sikmura sa aking kapatid na barako. - Gi-nang-up po nila ako Ate Charo! [Shock ako… Sa sobrang tuliro ni hindi ko naisip na tumawag sa bantay bata at isuplong ang mga pang-aaping ito ng aking siterette at baderette!]

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I love street performers, I love this kind of art. [Very entertaining and not to say it’s free!] But sometimes I wonder if they do this as a career or just for fun… Cause if I will do this kind of hustling I would not do it for fun nor for monies… I’d do it for peoples attention! He he he…
[Oh how I miss the BBoys and BGirls of Rittenhouse!]

When I was younger, I really wanted to study arts. [It is really my passion.] But my family doesn’t want me to… They keep asking me after I finish school what am I gonna be with that?, I just say hmmm I guess an artist right? LOL.
They beg me to pick another major… So what I did was think-think-think-think, I really did alot of thinking like if I am still gonna study even I know that am not gonna be happy with what they wanted me to do and want me to be. I even skip school for a year. [See it took me alot of thinking.] I stayed at home most of that day and not work, just at home during and sleeping all day and at night I party! [This was my life back then, kind of my scapegoat.] I was frustrated. I was depress just thinking I can’t have what I want.

To be continued…

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I like hanging out at any park, for me this is the cheapest entertainment that I could have. I enjoy people watching, this is my favorite pastime. I love seeing people. [Mahilig kasi akong mang okray eh! Kahit hindi ko kakilala… Ino-okray ko.]

Before I would take day offs even I don’t have anything important to do…
You would not believe this… I would spend my whole day at a park instead of working, just by myself for 8 long hours! [Yeah, I don’t have a life at that time!LOL.] I would even bring my La Germania (my notebook) with me, *kasi sa park walang ingay tahimik at mas makakaisip at malaya akong makakauslat ng mai-co-content sa blog ko. * But instead I would find myself observing people there, dedma ang pagsusulat.

This girl right here is just one of the few peoples that I saw last time at Central Park.

Very typical New Yorker!

I love her outfit!

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It’s really painful to see one’s life has to live like this. I am wise to know that poverty really exist.

This is Barry I met and talk to him last March during my photo trek in Center City. He is a very interesting person. I get to know him a little bit, he’s a Vietnam Veteran been living on the mean streets of Center City for like 5 years.

He lost his legs from the mean war…

His only son had disowned him. I hope I get to see him again and get to know him more.

This is just one of the photos I took last Mar. 2007 at Logan Square. Barry is just one of my subjects that time.

Popularity: 4% [?]