Diwatang Byaning

You know this segment? Hahaha today we don’t have 4 contestant na kailangan from ‘Rags to Ritzes’ ako lang to, at sana naman din hinaharana din ako ng mga “rain makers noh” habang sinasalaysay ang ‘Theme song ng Buhay ko…’ — Syet ang baduy ko talaga!

*With background musak pa yan, gaya ng mga background musak ni WengWeng noon sa Agent00 habang hinahabol ang mga tulisan…*

Ang nakaraan sa buhay ng ating bida…

While vacationing / summering (Kung ano pa man ang tawag mo doon!?) I met someone. We became close - very close (As in kulang na lang magkapalit kami ng muka sa sobrang close, syet wag naman sana!!!) Footah!

Everyone here in the States keeps telling me that setting the one I love (Refers doon sa nakilala kong babaitan.) free could give me peace of mind. But I never thought it would be this painful… As in sobrang painful ha! *Ansaket!!!* Syet! [Kasing sakit ng binubunot ang mga kuko mo — subukan mong bunutin ang kuko mo tignan natin kung di ka din umaray!]

The love I found and lost: It may be short (1 week?) as in tamang-tama ang tema tatlong linggong pag-ibig, sa theme song ng buhay kong to. But it was love beyond compare - well, at least to me! There were lots of sacrifices we endured . I must admit I was blinded, we tried to be like a normal couple but we were just not meant to be, feeling ko, (LDR itu!) To make a looooooonnnggg, very loooonnnggg story short. All of a sudden she changed, she avoided me. She weren’t answering my calls/txt’s and emails and I was left devastated…

I never heard from her again… Until today - I am wonderin, what did I do to her? For her to just walk away from me, and left me like this? (cold, alone, devastated… and what-not!)

Many days and months have passed but I still can’t get her of my mind… Para syang kuto na nagsusumiksik sa ulo ko. [Kainis!]

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Popularity: 41% [?]

In Philadelphia Halloween belongs to Mr. Henri David, owner of the jewelry store at 1329 Pine St. “Halloween” and host of the legendary costume party called Henri David Ball which happens annualy. *Syet ha okay ito sa plugging!*

The annual Henri David Ball Halloween party celebrates its “Halloween Party” at Sheraton Philadelphia Center City Grand Ballroom 16th and Race streets - $25 with costume, $75 without. Doors open at 9PM.

As for me - I will not be there this year, *Spontaneous ako diba?* [Yes sadly I will not be covering the said ball - wasn’t aks to this year — ULOL as in Ultimate Laugh Out Loud!] yes I am breaking the annual tradition of the Butsi Gang… Better plans? Not really ~~~ Charoz, since I am probably getting thunders or having a mid-life crisis? (Filipino slang for old oucharay ko!) I will be contented to sip my Absolut BloodyBloodyBlooooddddyyy Hell Mary, and just do a movie horrorathon - OooooHHHhh blood and gore anyone?

But I promise I will ask my diwatangbyaning paparazi elves to take some photos of the ball or whatever costume party that will be on their way… So make sure to come back for photos!

Popularity: 31% [?]

Kahit ganito ako, ganito talaga ako at kahit ako’y ganito - kahit papaano compassionate naman ako noh! Pootah! Heheheh…

At this time of year there’s a plethora of products all dedicated to the fight against breast cancer. Inquire within your suking tindahan!

Eto nga punyeta - ni hindi naman ako nakain ng yogurt noh ekkkk - eh ganun talaga, laman tiyan na din! Hehehe…. Basta para sa suso! Game ako! *Sali na! Sagipin natin ang susey ni Sussie!*

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This is the time of the year again - where everyone’s going to dress whatever they want and show it off!

Every year I have a plethora of visitors nationwide searching for “Henry David Ball” and most of the searches are about “not having a ball this year” - I dunno where this gossip coming from! Guess what? I personally spoke to the founder/grand father of this said “Henry David Ball” himself Mr. Henry David yesterday afternoon! (Totoo, hindi ako nag-fe-feeling ha! As in fangako, mamatay man kapitbahay ko! Hehehe… But trulili nakausap ko talaga sya!) Of course there will be a “Henry David Ball’ this year 2010 at The Sheraton.

Remember boy and girls - Don’t come as you are; but come as you want to be. *Now let me strut my pootah red stap on.* Bwehehehe… Ahihihih…

Okay, Tagalog moments na itu - hinihingal na ako sa isang paragraph na yan!

At bakeeetttt ka nagtatas ng kilay sa mamula-mula kong stap-on? Eh kasi naman daw sabi ni Pantasha, nawawala sa puwistu ang iyong mala-pootah-pootah red curious case na strap-on mo…

Ay syet natangal - palibhasa detachable kasi… Walang himala!

Me: Gurl, itali mo kaya ng lubed at idocktape mo kaya?

Tasha: Que barbaridad!

Aparisyon ni Judiel Nieva na mala Nazareno sa Quiapo lol. Bad daw kasi ako…

Popularity: 39% [?]

Cast of Characters

Shaider - Ako yan! Equipped with my special moves at shempre may babylos din ako at blue hawk na motorsiklo, na maasahan sa oras ng pangangailangan - mga oras na sasambitin ni IDA ang mga katagang ANG TIME SPACE WARP NGAYON DIN *May puot sa kanyang boses.*

Annie - Yong babaeng kala mo eh kandita si Cory Aquino, lagi ding naka-dilaw? At pag nasipa na sya ampootah talaga namang napaka kinish *WINK-WINK-WINK* alam nyo na (May lambing sa dulo~~~)

Fu-ma Ley-ar - Yong isang lola sa BH na nagpaligo kay Annie. (Just like Fu-ma Ley-ar, panay muka lang din sya, laki kasi ng muka parang monay walang katawan! Hahaha (Syet, ang sama!) Hahaha.

IDA - Yan yong mga lola sa BH oo as in sa Batis Hane, na nagpaligo sa amin.

TIME SPACE WARP NGAYON DIN!

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Popularity: 52% [?]

Probably hmmm more of a tune-up? Okay whatever it is… Hahaha… Di pa naman ako ganung ka-tanders! *EHEM* (Sabay lunok…) Ng ano? *Presses the buzzer!* Ng bato??? *Si Darna ka?*

Some kinda words of wisdom: Pagnagkaka-edad ka kelangan mo ng matinding Overhaul!

Kakalowka!!!

It all started with… I have to find another dentist BLAH - one who does accept my insurance PPO daw kasi, so kahit saan pwede? Hmmm all over the nation? Hahaha - May naalala ako… (PPO ang insurance ko noh - so kahit saan ako pumunta pwede! D kelangan ng referral. Kahit saan… Nationwide ito noh, all over the kwantri!) Giit ng babae, di ako nagsabi non! Sabi ko naman *May kasamang pagkamangha sa insurance nya!* Really? Kahit saan? Hahaha, huling balita ko sa Alaska ata sya nakakita ng nearest Neuro wala kasing Neuro na natangap ng PPO sa kanilang baranghey sa east coast bwehehe kasi PPO nga! Nationwide! All over the kwantri nga iyon!

Oo sa cuidad nga ako nakatira pero lahat ng mga ka-ek-ekan sa boquirin pa din nagaganap, palibhasa malapit sa factoring pinagpapartyman ko.

10 weeks ago (Tindi!) before my scheduled appointment, went to nearby dental office, *Tantantinin* (Parang background musak sa mga action movies ni WengWeng.) Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa aking nasilayan. Sabay sabi sa aking sariling (Asan ba ako? Sabay kamot sa ulo sa itaas.) Pootah kulang na lang may maglako ng shingaling, balot, chicharon, mineral water na galing sa poso! At yong mga tao kulang na lang may dalang mga lata ng biskwit pucha. Nagaantay ng huling byahe papuntang L.A. as in Legaspi, Albay! Syet parang istasyon ng bus sa Maynila parang nasa Farinas bus station <<<— hahah plugging? Ekkk! Dental office daw ito! Hahaha… Syetness! Meron pa lang ganyan dito sa prominent shala-shalahang boquirin daw??? Malamang tong dentistang to by quantity ang drama sa PPO - pakyawan ba, kaya naman ganun kadami talaga ang pasahero nya ey shet paseyente pala, sorry!

Lagare kung lagare! Dahil pagkatapos doon sa istayon ng bus takbo naman kami (Yesa, kami. Nagsama ako ng hatak as in entourage. Isa lang nauto ko eh lol. Para pag tapat ng spot light sa akin eh may taga palakpak ako!) sa patak center ni Doc Juan Flavier. Cuz you know, I need to DOH it noh! Hahaha… At times like this, I wish I have notabels, kahit kasing haba lang ng vienna sausage at kasing payat lang ng panda ballpen bwahaha *Wala akong paki sa machismo, na kesyo kelangan kasing lake ng braso ni Hulk Hogan syet!* It’s all in the performance, at nag BOW pa kamo after ng nasabing performance. HAHAHAH!!!

Paunawa: Hindi ito bastos! Huwag klikin, kung ayaw makakita ng puday!

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Popularity: 42% [?]

First of all, allow me to apologize for not having blogged for such a very long time. I have been very busy these days. At saan naman daw aber? *Sabi ng na-epal sa likod ko.* (Saan pa ba? Sa pagluto, pag-saing, pag-lampaso, pag-linis ng bahay, pati bahay ng kapit bahay ni ate, sa paglaba at notaryo sa araw ng pangingilin - syet! Business ever gotesco diba? Dahil bumalik na po ako sa bahay ni ate, yes namamahay ulit ang inyong lingkod!

Abangan

May tinatapos pala akong libro 2,000 pages sya at back to back yan di lang sa harap ang sulat ekkk! Sa 6 readers ko (including me) paumanhin! Don’t worry you guys will be the first ones that have my book at say may pirma ko pa yan bawat page! At sa 6 na readers ko (includes me pa din!!!) na mamalasin at di ko ma-pirmahan ang 2,000 (so bale 4,000 pirma yan? syet!) pages na back to back na librong iyan eh kayo ang magiging lucky home partner at magwawagi ng diwata body hugger — dahil may bago akong raket - gumawa na din po ako ng diwata clothing line at yon na nga ang soooper pinag-kaka-busy-han ko sa ngayon.. [Syimpri pa naka-rigistir iyan sa DTI anoh!]

I will be back — Promise, saranghamidabo!

CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! (Kunwari pa daw ayaw click-in - echoserang palaka ka!)

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Popularity: 28% [?]

Are you fucking kiddin’ me???

INPUT: What they did is inhumane! It was an adult act of a cold blooded killer, therefore they should be tried as adults!!!

Juvies who committed premeditated and brutal murders should remain incarcerated!!! I say NO to parole within 15 years of incarceration… I don’t believe in redemption and as well as rehabilitation - what another 2.2 million from taxpayer$ monie$?

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So I therefore conclude I am not a failure!!! I tried to break free with it for a week or 2 weeks but am just not at my best at that time. [long time ago.] I think I am ready now. Hahaha pinaghandaan talaga?

I know I have a demon inside me we all do mga ka-Ovarrio! (Lucky me…) compared to other people I know. Some have demon in their houses; may alam nga ako - their freaking demon knows how to criticize, cook, drink, give child support? *Baet? Hahaha, nasisiraan ng baet kamo! Syet!* laundry, dial the phone [ekkkk, marunong kaya syang mag tix?] What else? Those damuhong demonyo can do just any verb you can imagine. Pootah!

I have a long time love/hate relationship with smoking! A FA-Q and nothing but a FA-Q, is that, it’s longest relationship I ever had in my entire life. Love and hate baga? Hahahaha… Love that every smoke that comes outta my mouth. It simply satisfies my addiction to nicotine, and yet every smoke that comes out sa pugon ko gives me fear… A fear; like what’s going to happen to me if I don’t stop now…

So when is one really ready to break free from it? I am not ready and I don’t think I will ever be anytime soon… But if I don’t try now, when will I? When it’s too late? *Wala na akong baga?* Hahaha… I guess no one is a failure, unless they stop trying!

Life is precious and is worth fighting for…

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Popularity: 28% [?]

Will it be an issue for Joey Vento owner of the “Best DAW Philly shitty-shitty cheese steak” ekkkk ewww if somebody cut to the front line of his famous daw cheese steak store na nilalangaw? I don’t think so! And would never thought of that - cause his cheese steak sucks wit or witout! How in the world I can cut thru the line? If there’s no line? Earth to Joey! Cause according to the definition of illegal and legal immigrantsis that the legal waited in the line and the illegal cut thru that line stayed in America and broke the law ecklachuchu.

Is this a sign of an entrepreneur wanna be politician? A-GAIN *On a heavy Mexican accent!*Manny Villar istatue?

What ef I do fund raising to deport Joey Vento for the crime of errr selling the most sucky yuckie cheese steak wit or witout pweeee!

I dunno if Joey Vento has issues with immigRANTS - back in 2006 he had a sign upfront his windows saying “This is America, when ordering speak English” wow pare bigat!

So back to the issue Mr. Vento wit or witout brains, definitely the latter, is supporting Arizona state law (And in FA-Q he even made a fund raising noh!) in regards to throwing out all the illegals out of the said state (It’s not federal noh! So I cun’t say in the kwantri.) Soooooo, hmmm does this apply to all illegals (I prefer undocumented!!!) or just the brown skinsssss only? Hmmmm… Hmmmm… Hmmmm… At isa pang hmmm…

Another quarter of my penny - I say let’s BOYCOTT GENO’S steak!!! Now na! Joey Vento you suck just like your cheese steak!

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Popularity: 36% [?]