Diwatang Byaning

NO it is not another episode of QEFTSG - giving makeovers to some of their straight girlfriends…

Everybody loves to hate… (Well - In fact, I love to hate someone too, si Jackie Warner…) - - — Too bad I gots my eye on just Jackie…

I want have more lesbian friends as I could imagine, right before my eyes. But it seems that every lesbian that I get acquainted with seems to be a hater! (Awww, that’s sad! Really…)

Damn it! Of course every “potential lesbian friend” that comes my way deserves a chance - my chance, just don’t be hatin’ on me you lesbos!!! (Yeah, oftentimes I don’t practice what I preach! For I love to hate, Jackie. - Jackie Warner is like mmm Mr. Zulu - They are fictional, Jackie although not some character in some movie but she’s still to be considered fictional…) - Kilala ba nya ako? Ako lang naman nakakakilala sa kanya no! For I don’t exist in her life - sya lang nag e-exist sa buhay ko, hehehe…

This happened once upon a time, somewhere in the way out West…

I gots a call from a friend [Whom I don’t talk to anymore, after this incident.] and asked me if I was single… And I said yes cause that was the truth and nothing but the truth so help me god! [My brotha, is not a pig - walang himala!] She wants her friend to be setup with me (As in - blind date?) dahil nga daw na saw ako nakita ng kanyang amiga sa pektors - *Kakaiba talaga ang alindog ng lola nyo at that time!* - preshhhness to the max, umu-uu naman ako sa offer ng kebigan ko [Hindi ko na kebigan ngayon lol.] Kasi nga putaching din ako no! (Isipin nyo nang gusto ninyong isipin, wala akong pakialam!)

After talking *Yadda-Yaddaa-Yadaaaa* for a month or so doon sa “babae” finally “we - daw” decided to set up a meeting… It was okay - I had alot of fun!, as in (Plastic!) Okay naman sya, yon nga lang nagmamaganda! [AKO? ALPHA AKO NO! PAGMAMAGANDAGAN MO? PWEDE BA?] So, what happens kapag dalawa ang reyna? Eh di tarayan to the maxxxximum levels!

(But, I don’t really mind. Makapal kasi muka ko.) Not until, I have discovered something!!! *Tantantinin* You see, this is a very large lesbian group, and the girl that I am talking to is one of them! NOW, Where was I? Yeah, I was left alone at her apartment for days since she did not took a leave while I was there… Which is just fine with me - Naglinis ako maghapon ng apartment nya!!! I was that bored lols… I did use her pc, to hanap-hanap some hada’s in her neighborhood - o maniwala na naman kayo! TSK! I was just bored as in… Just starring at the four corners of her house… So there I was, super internet galore ang ate ninyo sa way out west, then I found myself browsing her “documents sa pc” BROWSE-BROWSE-BROWSE… then something in the pektors really caught my attention - IT WAS VERY double triple lordie lordie great balls of fire na nakaka bother!, yung na discover ko - the pektors was taken “before” I have met all of them “those lesbo haters!” — maybe? I invaded her privacy? Well, I don’t think I did. For I did not do it on purpose since I was so bored… (For my actions are really in good faith) chorvaloo, really… Honestly!

What did I discover? Hmmm, the issue is her so called lesbo friends and maybe herself too for she was also in that pektors - well she could have really prevented it, but she allowed them to do that to me… (Pucha, hindi nyo pa ako na-me-meet eh ginisa nyo na ako sa sarili kong mantika, ano ba yan?) I saw them giving “durty - so durty finger on my pa-valantine’s day gift sa kanya” If you was on my bakya, what would you feel? *I am being sensitive here?* - After seeing this… Nawalan ako ng gana sa kanilang lahat… 3 days na lang aalis na ako, but indeed this is the longest ride of my life… Ever - Ang hirap magkunwari ha!

I phoned my “straight friends daw” around the area… Kwento ko yong aking discover, cause kelangan kong ihinga no, I feel betrayed as in… They wanted me to get the HELL out of there, well - I decided to stay until the day I leave… Matigas ako, at ayaw kong sirain yong mga plano… Magulo pa iyon diva?

So Saturday came, lalabas kami… Sa ghey club daw, that’s my last day na stay sa way out west ugh I called my “straight friends daw” to join us… Nang nakita ng aking “straight friends daw” ang mga kasama ko - Eh kaya ka naman pala niluto! For you are a threat sa kanila!!! Threat saan? [You see like Jake hindi ako naihi sa ibang inihihan na ng ibang ASO!] So not me, and on my vocabulary! [Aray, kung may natatamaan man…]

Ah ganun ba threat pala? *Alpha female alerts* while dancing on the dance floor I know somebody is looking at me and I know by heart she wants me hehehe kapal talaga ng muka ko lols. In fairview, Cubao muganda sya! But then I don’t do hook ups - - - Manang ako! For reals… HAHAHA!!! Hmmm sya ang kasama ko at kausap ko for the whole effin night!!! [See I am not a threat hahaha, mahilig lang akong manginis…] Ganun pala labanan? Sige, tignan natin mga byaning kayo kung sino ang mas may mahabang buhok? Eh anong magagawa ko kung mas undusing ako [HAHAHA, hindi seducing ha] Inuwi ako ng na-meet kong babachina! Kasi ganda lang yan!!! [Sa wakas may naglabas sa akin at nagbayad ng “bar fine.”]

My last words sa aking haters eh [Ahhh, I’ll stop by there tomorrow to pick up my things, before my flight.] For there is someone to hate - there will always be a HATER!

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